MONDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS
Jets CB Justin Miller might be the fastest man in the NFL, but he can't outrun a police car.
Also, Miller's lawyers claim that he was merely defending himself after a woman attacked him. (So much for the report that the punch that hit the woman was meant for a man.)
Bears LB Lance Briggs wants stand-in Jamar Williams to prove that Briggs is replaceable.
Colts S Bob Sanders (shoulder) might not be ready to play until the start of the season; Sanders is slated to become an unrestricted free agent in 2008.
Colts DE Dwight Freeney has no plans to sign the one-year franchise tender of $9.43 million.
Coach Tony Dungy missed Sunday's mandatory minicamp practice because his daughter was graduating from college. (Don't these teams check the calendar when they plan these camps?)
Is RB Vernand Morency in line to be the 2007 starter?
Packers CB Will Blackmon is a superstar in shorts.
Packers LB A.J. Hawk is pissed that those wedding pictures hit the Intergoogle last week. (Hey, A.J., at least the package of pics didn't include the one taken right after you'd gotten out of a pool of cold water.)
Texans DT Amobi Okoye is slated to start next to Travis Johnson, Jeff Zgonina, or Anthony Maddox.
Fins DB Jason Allen's training regimen includes catching raw eggs.
As of now, Marlin Jackson and Kelvin Hayden are the starting corners in Indy.
On Tuesday, owners will pick Indy, Dallas, or Arizona to host the 2011 Super Bowl.
With 10,000 more seats, the new stadium in Dallas might have the edge over the new venue in Indy.
The Titans want TE Ben Troupe to step up.
Chiefs WR Titus Ryan has played only seven college football games, and caught only six passes -- but he runs a 4.28.
Vikings coach Brad Childress thinks that QB Tarvaris Jackson can play as well as Matt Schaub.
Broncos WR Brandon Marshall is busting his ***.
Woody Paige's Monday column apparently comes from the "stuff to fill space when I got nothing interesting to write about" file.
The fates of Trent Green and Daunte Culpepper are still linked -- and still hanging in limbo.