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Thread: Kitchen Humor

  1. #1

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    Kitchen Humor

    Martha (As in Stewart) vs. Maxine (as in the cartoon character)






    *Martha's Way*
    Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.





    *Maxine's Way *
    Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!




    Martha:
    To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.



    Maxine:
    Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year.


    Martha:
    When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

    Maxine:
    Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.


    Martha:
    If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

    Maxine:
    If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"


    Martha:
    Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.



    Maxine:
    Celery? Never heard of it!

    Martha:
    Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.



    Maxine:
    The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.




    Martha:
    Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.



    Maxine:
    Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!




    Martha:
    If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.



    Maxine:
    Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.




    Martha:
    Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.



    Maxine:
    Leftover wine???????????
    HELLO !!!!!!!
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    Last edited by floodcitygirl; 01-16-2007 at 05:45 PM.

  2. #2
    Stairwayto7's Avatar
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    So who is a Martha and who is a Maxine?


    **** Formerly Clevestinks!****
    i como enormes senos

  3. #3
    House of Steel
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    Good one, Flood.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clevestinks View Post
    So who is a Martha and who is a Maxine?
    Cleve...Sweetie, I went in and put who said what for you if that's what you meant. If you meant who is Martha? (as in Stewart) or who is Maxine? (as in the cartoon character)....and you really don't know who they are.......you need to get out of the gym a little more often, buddy! Or....are you telling me that you didn't like the joke?????
    Last edited by floodcitygirl; 01-16-2007 at 06:24 PM.

  5. #5
    Stairwayto7's Avatar
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    I meant who here is a Marthe Stewart, and who here is a Maxine??

    My Bad, FCG always looking out for me!


    **** Formerly Clevestinks!****
    i como enormes senos

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clevestinks View Post
    I meant who here is a Marthe Stewart, and who here is a Maxine??

    My Bad, FCG always looking out for me!
    Ohhhhh....well speaking for myself, I can be either one depending on the day!

  7. #7
    TampaSteelGirl's Avatar
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    OMG!! I was cracking up!! Great stuff girl!!! I love old Maxine!! Do some more!! I love these!


    Thanks Steelers086 for my awesome signature!!!




    Thanks for the new avatar SteelerBee!

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by TampaSteelGirl View Post
    OMG!! I was cracking up!! Great stuff girl!!! I love old Maxine!! Do some more!! I love these!
    I thought they were funny too! I didn't write them though...had them sent to me. Glad you enjoyed!

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