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Thread: Just In: Audio of the 3rd and 6 play

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  1. #1
    Chairman of the Board Iron City South's Avatar
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    Just In: Audio of the 3rd and 6 play

    laughed my *** off when I read this .....

    Audio Transcript Recording of the "Arians’ Abortion"

    By: Still Mill

    Lo and behold, I was able to intercept the recorded conversation that took place during the timeout just before the now infamous “Arians Abortion” on 3rd down & 6 late in the 4Q of the Jax loss.

    First, let me set it up for you. Here was the situation as it unfolded:

    It was 3rd & 6, at the Steelers 26, with 2:56 remaining. Jax had TWO timeouts, plus the 2-minute warning, which means there is an ETERNITY of time remaining on the clock for an opponent that needs only a FIELD GOAL to win the game. With kick coverage teams that couldn’t cover a toddler in a romper room, plus a punter that shanks more balls than a circus clown, the very thought of punting the ball had to be akin to having a root canal without Novocain. Time clearly did not matter here; getting a 1st down and moving the chains did.

    Herewith is the audio transcript of conversation that took place during that critical timeout --

    Tomlin: Allright men, let’s gather around…..!

    Arians: Don’t worry, Coach…I have the perfect playcall.

    Tomlin: Ok great, let’s hear it…

    Arians: We’ll do the ol’ “Ben Keeper Left”…..

    Tomlin: The what….??

    Arians: We’ll do the ol’ “Ben Keeper Left”, around end…..

    Tomlin: And……..??

    Arians: And, he keeps the ball around end……!

    Tomlin: And…….then….. what the fu<k comes next…….?

    Arians: Uhh, nothing…he just keeps the ball and runs for the first down….

    Tomlin: So, you want me to have my slow-assed QB run to his LEFT, with no option to pass, and “just run” for the first down, which is 6 yards away……..?

    Arians: Yes, that’s right, Coach… And it worked great in practice!!

    Tomlin: Hey Ben, when you ran this in practice, who did you run it against ??

    Ben: Uh, I think we had Potsie Farrior at ILB, Dick Eason at DE, Cooper at OLB, and Anthony Smith at DB Coach”

    Tomlin: Bruce, you ran this play against the slowest starting ILB in the NFL, along with a 4th string DE, a 4th string OLB, and Tony "Toast" Smith. Do you really think it’ll work against the starters on the AFC’s toughest run defense ??

    Arians: Sure thing, Coach…..I designed it myself. Plus, I used to run this play all the time in Cleveland and it worked great.

    Tomlin: Well, okay……but Ben’s on fire this half. The only plays he’s not converted are my idiotic 2-point conversion attempts ……e verything else, he’s been lights out. Why not let our franchise QB win the game for us right here with a 1st down on a simple pass to good ol’ Hines, or Heath, or Holmesie, or even Cedric….?

    Ben: Yeah, Coach, let me hook up with Hines on the easy slant, or Holmes. Or I can hit Heath on a drag. Coach, they ain’t stopped us all 2nd half in our passing game…..I know we can complete a pass for 6 yards……and if nothing is open, I could do an impromptu scramble and either gain the 6 on a busted run or hit an open receiver after I start to scramble.

    Ward: Yeah, Coach….nobody has covered me yet this half. If there is a WR in the NFL that can get you 6 yards and a key 1st down, you’re looking at him…!

    Arians: Coach, we don’t care about the first down. All’s we want to do is milk the clock. By golly, we’ll milk this bay-bee like a cow !! This is why I ordered the 2 line plunges already on this drive. We’ll milk this like a lactating momma! And even if we don’t make the 1st down, we can always punt and pin the Jags back deep.”

    Tomlin: Back deep…? We’re on our own 26, fer chrissakes. Sepulveda hasn’t launched a deep punt since Halloween. And have you ever seen our coverage teams……??

    Arians: Our coverage teams are fine, Coach. Don’t be so negative….!

    Tomlin: Allright, what is the blocking scheme again on this play…..?

    Arians: Well, on a combo left, Hines comes in motion, and cracks on the DE. Essex pulls waaaay wide to the left. Crybaby Alan takes the DT. Miller and a pulling Mahan take the ILB.

    Tomlin: Okay, Bruce….sounds as complicated as a Chinese fire drill……or some disorganized scheme that Donald Rumsfeld might have invented… And who blocks the CB that was on Hines in the 1st place…..? Isn’t he unblocked ?

    Arians: Yes, but don’t worry ‘bout the small details, Coach….Ben’ll think of something as he’s running. He’ll be just fine…..!

    Tomlin: Remember, if this doesn’t work, my *** will be in a sling….

    Arians: Coach, remember I ain’t no rookie Offensive Coordinator here……I was in this here same job in Cleveland several years ago

    Tomlin: Yeah, and remind me again how that one turn out, Bruce….?

    Arians: Well, there was this small run-in with management……and I kind of got the short end of the stick----

    REFEREE: Gentlemen, the Timeout is over, back onto the field….!

    Tomlin: Ok Ben, you’ve got the playcall…..

    (Ben jogs out to the huddle…)

    Linemen, in unison: Ben, what’s the playcall….?

    Ben: Combo left, trips right, Arians Abortion…….Arians Abortion, on 1, on 1…..ready, break !

    Entire huddle, in unison: (collective groan… what?)

    Entire huddle, in unison: (son-of-a-beyotch we go)

    Ben: Blue 39, Blue 39……Green 36, Green 36, hut !

    Ben (running with ball): Oh, shiat……!!

    (audio cuts out)

    .... the rest is history.

    .... right here Arians, right here baby ......

    (Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close
    Last edited by Iron City South; 01-07-2008 at 08:30 PM.

  2. #2
    Veteran DIESELMAN's Avatar
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    Nice find ICS!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!

    If you don’t stand behind our troops.....Please feel free to stand in front of them!!!

    "Give me a 6 pack, half hour of rest and lets go play them again....We can beat them."
    --Jack Lambert

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    AZ_Steeler's Avatar
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  4. #4
    Head Coach LatrobePA's Avatar
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    Still makes me SICK almost hard to laugh...But still pretty funny!

  5. #5
    TampaSteelGirl's Avatar
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    OMG! I'm sitting here on my lunch break cracking up! This is sooo funny!

    Thanks Steelers086 for my awesome signature!!!

    Thanks for the new avatar SteelerBee!

  6. #6

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    Oct 2006
    Originally from Johnstown, trapped in Bungleland
    Laughing and crying at the same time once again.

  7. #7
    Steel City Mafia # 632
    ItAintEasyBeingPeazy's Avatar
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    Gulf Coast, From Central Pa.
    lol, it's probably closer to the truth then we realize.

    "He's running around there, running his mouth, doing all that, but if you watch him on film and really look, where was Ray Lewis? He was nowhere to be found. I could have tackled the water boy and had as many tackles as him. He didn't do nothing today. He's all mouth. When you talk like that, that's what happens: You get hit in the mouth. He's over there crying now, thinking about what went wrong. You got your *** whipped, that's what." ~ Peazy

  8. #8
    THAT DAMN GOOD yinzer's Avatar
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    the Burgh
    that's the funniest friggin post i've ever read!!!! that should be e-mailed to rooney!!!
    RIDICULOUSLY good looking...

  9. #9
    Reppin' 724
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    Goldsboro, NC- But from Beaver Falls, PA
    man I don't want to laugh at

  10. #10
    Rookie Free Agent
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    hahahahahahahaha thats great

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