11-27-2006, 06:56 PM
This just in: Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has announced that for the remainder of the season, he will play behind a wall of swiss cheese, that will be made by his family in Switzerland and shipped to the US for each game. When asked about this change, coach Bill Cowher said, "Ben came up with this idea after the sixth sack against Baltimore. By the 9th sack, he was sure this would be our only option, since Marvel, Max, Jeff and the rest of the offensive line decided they were going to move to Spain and become matadors." With the whole offensive line gone, this should free up a significant amount of cap room for the Steelers to address other needs. Offensive Line coach Russ Grimm refused to comment, but several sources heard him shout "Ole!" at various times during the game. In his post game press conference, Roethisberger said, when asked about this development, "Well, I'll miss the guys. I've spent the past three years getting to know them, and they really seemed to be great guys, but I guess their true passion lies in bull fighting, so I wish them well." Roethlisberger also said he doesn't expect a significant dropoff in the protection the cheese would give him. "Hey, swiss cheese is pretty good. Maybe the defense will stop and eat some before they come after me. I'm just glad Tony Siragusa isn't playing for the Ravens anymore. He'd eat the whole wall in one bite."